And Another One!

I did another 5k walk yesterday!! That makes 2 for the year. This one was called Trails for Tails and it benefits a local animal shelter. It is actually where I adopted my cat Pumpkin from so it is dear to my heart. I am very proud and on the lookout for another 5k soon. On a low note… I have hurt my already hurt ankle. I believe I pulled a muscle. I have been wearing a bandage/brace on it to help with stability and with the swelling. I believe it is helping to a degree. I have tried icing it and heating it. I may need to soak it in Epsom salts. Most likely resting it would help but I can’t seem to do that. I probably should have stayed out of the 5k but I had already committed to and did not want to back out. Maybe I will put it up and rest today?!?!

Vacation Recap

It has been one year since my accident already! In some ways it has flown by but looking back it was a very long, clearly hard year. I have had so many ups and downs and at times I honestly cried myself to sleep wishing to not wake up. Remembering that now makes me want to cry! It has been hard and it is still hard, but I feel like I have come out on top.

We took our vacation to the Blue Ridge Parkway to celebrate making it a year and it was wonderful!! Beautiful views, relaxing days, yummy food/wine, and some wonderful hikes.

Here is a recap in pictures.

Catching Up!

I have been neglecting my blog lately -- but for good reasons I promise! I have been very busy now that it is warmer out and now that I am starting to see some great progress.

I have been doing my PT exercises religiously and I have been going on a lot of walks. I have also been doing my exercise bike and blasting music to get me through the workouts! I can feel myself getting stronger and more confident with my crippled body!

My friend and I decided we would do a 5k walk to raise money for victims of domestic violence. It was so much fun and so rewarding: raising money for a good cause and being able to walk 3.1 miles almost a year after my accident.

Life is Good!

Happy 10 Month Accident Anniversary to me!!

Lovin' Life

I am so in love with life right now!! I have gone through so much in the past (almost!) 10 months and I never, ever thought I would get to this point. I have been seeing so much improvement lately. As I mentioned in my last post, I can now, point my toes/foot!! But I can also walk down stairs easier, bend down to put on my shoes and pet my snuggly cat, and shave my legs without sitting down. These things sound so simple and are definitely things that we do on a daily basis and take for granted. But I have found that I take NOTHING for granted anymore.

I am also really enjoying Spring and am happy that I can be outside more! Pretty much all of the warm months last year were spent indoors for me. Yay for being able to be active again!!

Miss Bird is clearly excited as well!

Makin' Myself Proud!

I haven't posted in forever! Oops... what have I been doing you ask?? Busting my ass in PT that's what!! Look what I can do now!! And they said it couldn't be done! Take that surgeons and physical therapists!!

New Shoes!

I bought myself some new shoes! I have a lot of shoes... anyone who knows me knows that I probably have TOO many shoes!! But I have two issues with my old kicks:

1. My feet have gotten smaller... like an entire size smaller!
2. Unsupportive, uncomfortable shoes do not cut it anymore.

I can literally feel the lack of support in my back.

So after a little research online, I found Salomon's to be my best bet. Everything I read on them spoke about how great their support and tread is. I am interested in good tread because I am constantly nervous about falling down! They also come with inserts that make them more snug and more comfy. I love them and am very happy with them!!

Vacay!

My sweet hubs and I have decided that we will take a trip this Summer to celebrate me not being dead, paralyzed, or maimed. That may sound funny, but remember I am really into celebrating any and everything. The weekend of my one year accident anniversary we will be going to our favorite place on Earth: the Blue Ridge Parkway. I feel so at peace and happy whenever I visit. I can't think of a better place to celebrate life then there!

The day we drive up we are taking a picnic lunch to enjoy on the parkway. We are planning on staying at the Mt. Pisgah Inn which is somewhat rustic and old fashioned but we don't care at all. We are going to go on several hikes (because I will be damned if I cannot hike in June!) and take in all the beautiful sites the parkway has to offer in section 5. We will also be going in to Asheville for a fun dinner and hopefully some ice cream at the Biltmore Creamery... YUM!

It may seem strange to already be planning a Summer vacation. But as I have mentioned before, it really helps my recovery process to have things on my calendar to look forward to. I am busy looking online for different trails to hike. I have found 3 that are near the inn that seem very scenic and somewhat difficult. I like a little challenge so I think we will be checking them out while we are there. Can't wait!!!

Reflecting

Lately I have been doing a lot of reflecting on my life. Things have changed greatly from this time last year and I am not talking about just physically. I have changed so much mentally as well. I look around at the people I know and I hear people at work complain… a lot. I don’t mind people complaining. Everyone does it. It is part of life. It honestly helps people bond (especially in a work setting). But it is starting to bother me when people complain about the tiny most trivial little things. I want to shake them and say “you must have never really been through anything rough in your life if you are complaining about that”. I think I am so much happier and less stressed at this point in my life then I was a year ago. One looking at me from the outside would expect the opposite. But this accident, trauma, recovery, and pain has taught me to truly not give a damn/worry about those little things any more. Shit happens. Get over it! Live every day to its fullest. The worrying will get you nowhere and help nothing.

One More Week in the Boot!

Flex

It has been 3 weeks since my surgery and I am already feeling a good bit better. The swelling and pain have gone down some and I am able to walk more in my boot. I decided to try some very basic physical therapy moves last night and I think they have really helped. It was mostly small movements with my foot to stretch out my ankle. Nothing strenuous! I plan on doing the same tonight and maybe adding in a little more. I don't want to go overboard!

Ouch!

I really thought my leg hurt before… but I was wrong. It really, really hurts now! I suppose it is the pain of walking around on a leg that has 10 holes in it! Hopefully they will fill in quickly. Plus once I start therapy, it will strengthen my leg muscles and give me more mobility. I can’t believe I am going to have to do PT again… this feels like two steps back. But I know that I will be much stronger in 10 weeks and ready for Summer to start!! I plan on taking full advantage of the outdoors this Summer since I literally spent all of last Summer indoors.

Check out the holes!

No More Office Supplies!!

I got my cast off today and the staples out!! Twenty one staples to be exact! I am now walking in a boot and will be doing PT to get back to "normal". My surgeon expects my ankle to be healed in about 10 weeks. I can handle that!

Two More Days!!

In 2 days I will be getting my cast off and my stitches out…actually they might be staples… not sure. I shoved my little arm down in my cast Saturday because my leg was itching SO badly! And I think I felt staples and not stitches. I could be wrong though… the thought of staples is kinda icky to me! You would think after everything I have been through and seen, nothing would be icky… not true! I still get grossed out even after seeing my leg bend in an area that it was not meant to and being able to see my bone through skin. Still get icked out!

This weekend, my husband participated in a drift event and I was outside all day long. I am pretty proud of myself for being able to crutch around that much and for standing almost the entire day! Go me!! I paid for it on Sunday though… it was a lazy day to recoup and rest my sore muscles.

It was worth it to see my husband do so well and to have so much fun!

ARGH!

Hydrating has NOT helped my muscle spasms... they are horrible!! AND... my leg itches so badly I am really thinking of taking this cast off and scratching my leg for an hour straight.

Oooh... enough venting!! I can tell that my arms are getting stronger with all this crutching around. I am determined to get in some kick ass shape once I can!! And we might be going to the beach this summer so all the more reason to get it together!

H2O

My husbands birthday dinner was a success as you can clearly see by this silly picture. You can't go wrong with sushi and family.

It was the perfect evening!

I have been researching and it seems that muscle spasm are not a sign of healing. The ones in my leg are most likely caused by my leg having to stay in one position for a long time. OR they can also be a sign of dehydration... which I feel might be partly to blame. I don't think I am getting enough water and my skin is SUPER dry. I need to get more water in today to see if that clears up the dry skin and the spasms.

On a positive note, I think I am getting over the depressed mood I have been stuck in lately... YAY!!

Put On a Happy Face!

Today I am doing okay... the pain is getting a little less intense. It is still pretty sore and uncomfortable. I think some of that is due in part to the cast. I have a week and a day left before I get to take this thing off and get the stitches out! I am interested to see what the incisions will look like... my poor little ankle!

I think some of the pain is due to the cast and the way my foot is tilted. This cast seems much harder then the first one I had to wear. I am not sure why my foot is at this angle... perhaps it has something to do with the incisions?

I have started having these terrible muscle spasms in my leg. I am not sure what that means... is it due to healing? I will have to research it and see. They are very painful and they always seem to happen when it is time for bed. Awesome!

Tonight we are going out for my sweet husband's birthday. In my head I would like to go home and put on my PJs and lay down and cry. BUT... I will put on a happy face and have fun. I know it will be a great time! He is so good to me and deserves a fun night out.

Rocky...

Well... I made it through the weekend by sleeping through most of Saturday and trying to be positive and happy on Sunday. The problem with trying to be happy is that:

a.) it doesn't work at all!

b.) it just reminds you that you are depressed

I know I should be thankful and not see this surgery as a set back but it has truly brought back all the emotional issues that came with the accident to begin with. I am hoping that goes away quickly because I really want to be happy! I was getting so positive and then I took a nosedive into depressed.

I am back at work today and had a rough and rocky morning. It is really hard to get ready when you have one leg to stand on! I know that my husband would help me with anything that I needed but I hate having to ask for help all the time. I got hot and flustered and overall pissy. Add on top of that it is Monday and rainy and a back to work day... it just wasn't good. I got to work and a coworker got my coffee for me and I took a few minutes to pull it together and so far the day hasn't been too bad. I ate an awesome Kindergartner's lunch:

• Peanut butter and jelly
• Clementine
• Organic animal crackers

It was yum! Sometimes you just need some good ol' comforting food! This hit the spot and gave me time to blog and look around on the Internet to "decompress" for an hour. I am really ready to leave though!

Tomorrow is my sweet husbands birthday. The big 3-0! I feel bad because I am not able to throw him a big party or anything but I do have some gifts for him and a red velvet cake... his favorite. I think he will be okay!

Staying Busy!

I have found that having a project or having something to do makes getting better easier. It is hard to just sit on the couch with your leg up and watch TV. When you do that all you really do is sit around and think about how much pain you are in and it just gets depressing. I don't want to get depressed because that won't make this any better! So yesterday I really made myself "snap out of it" and worked on my scrapbook from our Charleston trip. It was fun looking at the pictures and picking out the cute paper and stickers to compliment them. I am about 1/3 done with the book so I will be working on it again today.



I am a little bit nervous about having to start work on Monday. Work is never fun but when you are in pain and having to walk on crutches... I think it will be worse!! It will probably be good for me to get up and out of the house though. The people I work with are very helpful so I know whatever I need they will get for me.

Over It!!

My ankle hurts so much!! I am thinking that hydrocodone is not as awesome as oxycodone. I still have some oxycodone left from my last surgeries... I might have to bust it out! The pain is so deep and nothing seems to make it better. I realize it has only been a day since my surgery but you would think that pain meds would ease some of this?!?

I took a shower last night and we had to drag out my shower bench. I hate that thing and when we put it up after my ankle healed last time I thought I would never see it again. I was wrong! Next time you take a shower, try doing it with the curtain/door open and your leg hanging out and see how clean you get... I feel kinda icky!! I am hoping that once I get the cast off and the stitches out, I will be able to take a regular shower.



This surgery has brought up a lot of the emotional pain that came from the accident. I have also found out some horrible information about the homeowner. I will not go into details here but I am no longer able to be friends with them. You cannot take back a life altering lie.

On a brighter note: I think I will work on a
scrapbook of our Charleston trip today!

Flowers Make Recovery Easier!

My dear sweet friend Lacey sent me these flowers! They have certainly put a smile on my face and brightened my mood!

Second Ankle Surgery

Yesterday I had my second ankle surgery at Atlanta Medical Center and I had 10 screws and a metal plate removed. The surgery was pretty short compared to the others I have had and I woke up less groggy then I normally feel due to anesthesia. I thought I was going to be okay but when I was getting ready to leave I felt very nauseated. The recovery nurse had me smell rubbing alcohol and that helped! Who knew?! We got home safely and I was able to use my crutches to get inside (crutches are SO easy when you are not recovering from a broken back!!).

Unfortunately the nausea came back and I got sick twice -- once throwing up on my poor cat Pumpkin. She was not amused!

I have to wear my bandages/cast for 2 weeks and then I will go in to see the surgeon, get x-rays, and get my stitches out. During these 2 weeks I will be walking with crutches. After that I will probably have to wear a cam walker which I already own from the first surgery. It helps you walk without crutches or a cane and distributes your weight. I am hoping that recovery from this is not too long and that I will be back to normal soon. I am in SO MUCH more pain then I ever thought I would be. I think I was being too optimistic! They have me taking hydrocodone this time which is some sort of oxycodone but it has no Tylenol ingredients which are supposed to be bad for your liver.

I plan on taking it easy the rest of the week and will be back to work on Monday.

A Case of the Why Me’s

Lately I have been super positive and been very happy. I am not sure what occurred in my sleep last night but I woke up feeling terribly down and wondering why the hell I am having surgery next week. I mean out of all of the people on the deck, why do I still have to deal with the physical and mental pain of this? Others most likely don’t even have scars from their scrapes at this point. I realize I was hurt more than anyone else and that this is to be expected. But it is hard to accept. I kind of want to physically assault people at random so that they feel my physical pain. I clearly know that is NOT the answer!! But it is nice to dream right?! (kidding)

I have a pretty fun weekend lined up and am really looking forward to it so I need to snap out of this funk ASAP!

Things I am Grateful For:

· A chance of SNOW today!
· A dinner with the family
· Valentine’s Day with my sweet hubs
· A warm house
· Fur babies to snuggle with

Speaking of fur babies… my cat is by far the most adorable thing ever!

There... I feel beter already!!

Dog Gets in the Way!

I am trying really hard to religiously do my physical therapy and my stationary bike every day…. But Wednesdays are SO hard! I have become obsessed with watching Dog the Bounty Hunter. It is so trashy and mindless. I. Love. It. It is a total escape and always an adventure to see what Beth will be wearing next. The hair, the nails, the makeup. It just BLOWS my mind. I think I need to dress as her for next Halloween.



With that being said, Wednesday will be my one break in the week. My one day of rest… kind of like how some people view Sundays…

YES!

This is totally saving my back at work!!

Pre Admission

I have my pre admission on Monday at 1:30 and for some reason am nervous about it?! I guess because I am not totally sure what all they will be doing at that time. From what I understand, it will be the following:

· Temperature
· Pulse
· Blood Pressure
· Height/Weight Check
· Blood work
· Possibly a chest x-ray

I also have to discuss my prior surgeries and any medications I am on. Hopefully this process won’t take too long because Atlanta Medical Center is where I have had all my trauma surgeries. I think that I will be meeting with my surgeon as well as the anesthesiologist to talk about the procedure however I am not totally sure.

I don’t know why I am getting so nervous about this?!? I need to just relax and keep in mind that a.) this surgery is going to make me feel a lot better and b.) this surgery is the easiest of all my surgeries to date. I mean… if I can recover from having half my body opened up to repair my vertebrae, I can recover from this. Stay positive!

Some Charleston Pictures!

Lunch at Cosmic Dog

Our room

May Peace Prevail on Earth ~ This was in the cemetary at The Round Church

The Old City Jail at night



Beautiful window box!

All dressed up to eat dinner at Circa 1886

The beautiful bay

Tired Legs!

Our weekend in Charleston was amazing! I will have to post some pictures later on. Friday we leisurely drove there through the country so that it would be more scenic. Unfortunately it was raining the entire time. We arrived at our inn and it was amazing!! So beautiful and charming. We ate dinner that night at Circa 1886. It was romantic and a great escape from the norm. Saturday we spent the day walking, site seeing, shopping and eating! I got tired and sore pretty quickly so we did some driving and pulling over to jump out and take pictures. That evening we took a haunted prison tour of the Old City Jail. It was a lot of fun and was a great location for taking pictures. Sunday we drove home through the country and took some time to get out and take pictures.

It was a great getaway and a wonderful time to relax with each other!!

I got some news from my surgeons office on Friday. I will be going to pre op Monday, February 15th at 1:30 and then in for my surgery the 16th. I have to be there at 6:30 AM! Yikes!!! I am nervous but also looking forward to getting it over with and getting better. I hope that once this is over I am good to go and that recovery will not take too long. I am looking forward to the day that I can be a "normal" 28 year old and not one that is in constant pain and having to walk with a cane...

Less Sicky Faced

I had to switch over to Mucinex because my co-workers likened it to some sort of miracle drug. So far it has made me wired so I am not really resting but I think I am less congested. I am trying to take it easy as much as possible which kind of sucks because I haven’t done my physical therapy or my bike ALL WEEK… I feel like a slacker and my muscles are hating me. My back is SO sore and tight… I think I will be doing some stretches tonight just to loosen things up and hopefully that will help. I know there is no way I will be able to walk around and enjoy my Charleston weekend the way I am feeling now. Hoping for a speedy recovery before Friday morning!

Sicky Face

I am sick. A cold. Or sinuses. Or creep and crud. Not sure what to call it but it is no fun! This is the 3rd time I have been sick within a 2 month period. I am not sure why I keep getting sick. Maybe it is the bizarre weather we have where one day it is cold and the next it is warm-ish and the next there is freezing rain. Or it could be that my immune system is already working overtime because my body is still healing so it can’t handle taking care of colds also.

Currently taking:
· Tylenol Cold
· Echinacea
· Emergen-C
· Lots of hot green tea
· Homemade lentil soup

I better get well before my trip!

I'm So Excited!!

I am feeling an overwhelming sense of excitement today and I believe it is because my weekend Charleston getaway is in sight!! The first weekend in February, my sweet husband and I will be enjoying the sites and tastes of Charleston. We made the reservations back in September and it is something I have been looking forward to since then! I have found that having something to look forward to on the calendar makes recovery easier.

Back when we made the reservation, I knew that I would be feeling so much better and stronger by the time February rolled around. This is sort of a gift to myself as well as a late 1 year anniversary trip for my husband and I. We have been saving up money and gift cards from Christmas and can't wait to buy some unique souvenirs to enjoy in our home. We want to find some special things we can display -- and every time we look at them we will be able to remember our trip!!

We are staying at the Fulton Lane Inn which sounds like a dream! Our room will have Southern charm and a fireplace! They also serve breakfast in your room which will be nice and private. I have read some great reviews of the inn online and can't wait to get the royal treatment the other guest write about.

This image was on the Fulton Lane Inn's website as an example of the room with a fireplace!! Romantic!!!

We are planning on doing a walking tour of the city because I got a guide book for Christmas. I am a little intimidated to try to do that much walking but I know we can always sit on a bench and rest if we need to. We are also planning on taking a Haunted Jail Tour... I can't wait and hope to see some ghosts!!!

I truly believe in celebrating every victory (no matter how small it may be) during recovery and this will certainly be a celebration!

Rest Does a Body Good!

I had a great weekend and spent most of my time being lazy and resting. I felt like last week physically and emotionally beat me down. So I took it easy this weekend but still did my physical therapy. I didn't get on my bike once :-(. But I think it paid of because I woke up this morning and felt renewed and awake and rested. What an awesome feeling!!

I can tell I am getting stronger in my exercises and have been adding more sets. It is so rewarding to feel myself getting stronger that I could practically cry just thinking about it!! Tomorrow marks 7 months from the accident and looking back I can see that I have come so far!! I think that in February I will be able to start doing yoga. I cannot wait to use this mat for what it was intended for and not just physical therapy!!!

I know that I will have a little set back with my next surgery but I am hoping that the recovery will not take too long. If I have to go back to physical therapy after that surgery I may have a full on breakdown!! But... I don't think they would give me any exercises that I haven't already learned so I could probably just do it at home and not have to fork out a $15 co-pay 2 times a week and miss work. Staying positive...

Good-ish News!

I saw one of my surgeons today (who would ever think I would be saying "one of my surgeons"??!) and I got some pretty good news. I got x-rays of my ankle and the outer bones in my leg have almost grown back together. I was kind of freaking out while I was looking at the x-rays and waiting for Dr. Keating to come in and tell me what he thought. He felt that my bones should have already grown back together... so I immediately thought that meant I would have to continue to wait patiently for my last surgery. BUT... to my surprise he said that it was healed "good enough" for surgery (wtf does that mean exactly though... when it comes to me being able to walk normally and feel less pain... I need something more definite then good enough!?!)!! So I am now waiting for his receptionist to call me back with the date. We are shooting for late February/early March. I just want it over with so that I can get myself totally healthy! And maybe, just maybe, get some closure on this.

Anxious!!!

I am very anxous this week because on Wednesday I have an appointment with my orthopedic surgeon to look at my ankle/leg. It will mark almost 7 months since the accident/surgery. I have to get another x-ray and am HOPING that the outer bone on my leg has grown together... please!! If so, we should be able to determine when I will have my last surgery. I just want to get this behind me so that I can somewhat move on ya know?!?!

As long as it doesn't look like this x-ray.... I will be happy!

No words... just awesomeness!

No Helmet Required!

I bought a bike and ironically it was delivered the day of my accident... or maybe the day before. Either way... God has a sense of humor. Anywho.... so clearly I have not been riding around town or anything like that. But, I need to build up my stamina and just ordered a bike stand for exercise so that I can modify my bike into a stable exercise bike!! Sweet!! Can't wait till it gets here!

My bike is pretty freakin' AWESOME!!