100%

It has been 6 months and 3 days since my accident. Tomorrow I go to see my neurosurgeon that repaired my back. I am interested to see my new x-rays and to see what all he has to say. The first 3 months of recovery I could not lift anything heavier then a gallon of milk. Now I can lift up to 15 lbs. I think tomorrow he will increase that to 20 or 25 lbs. I wonder what else he will tell me I can do??

I want to ask him how all the metal in my back works. I am sure he explained it to me while I was in ICU however the morphine mixed with total hysteria = me not really remembering!

I am continuing to do my physical therapy and working hard to strengthen my core. I met a woman that broke her L2 vertebrae 3 years ago and she said that every day she feels back pain and weakness and that she knows she will never be at 100% again. I suppose I have to set a new standard in my mind for what 100% will be!

Tis the Season!

It is almost Christmas!! Which means great times with family and friends, decorations, lights, food, COOKIES!, and also cold, cold weather. Not gonna lie... the cold weather hurts my body! I now know I could never live in the north where it gets much colder. I have tried everything I can think of to combat the pain and stiffness that I feel.

• electric mattress pad
• electric blanket
• warm showers
• layers
• scarfs (I have bought several this season with the excuse that I need to bundle up!)

And nothing is helping!! I will get through it though. I am still doing physical therapy daily and trying to get more and more in shape. I almost came to tears the other morning though because I had to put on shoes that required bending over to tie and I could barely do it. But that gives me something to work for!

Regardless of my pain... I wish it would snow!

Cankle

My right leg hurts.... a lot. I hate it.

I kind of dream about cutting off my leg right below my knee. I know that sounds crazy, but some days I can't and don't wanna take the pain. I feel like it will never get better.... how can a bone not be grown back together after (almost!) 5 months??!

I know God is super busy, but if he could get to my prayers about this.... that would be great. Maybe He has smiled on me enough though and I am just being greedy....

Vanity

I was looking through some pictures on my computer and realized I am looking SO much better since my accident. The first picture was about 3 weeks after my accident. I hadn't been home long and really didn't feel like smiling but did! The middle picture is from early September (about 6 weeks after my accident). The last picture (clearly!!) is from Halloween.

Life is slowly getting back to normal!

Back to the Grind...

"Every day do something that will inch you closer to a better tomorrow." ~ Doug Firebaugh

I love this quote and have to keep telling myself this daily. I have been back at work now for a week and am finding it terribly difficult to sit up all day long and to walk around this much. I do realize that going back to work is just part of the getting better process but I just feel that if I could stay home and really keep working on getting better, it would happen easier. Maybe I am wrong. Maybe I do need to keep pushing myself.

I have a pretty neat lumbar support for my chaif at work although I am not totally sure it is working. Maybe it just makes me sit in a way that I am not used to. I suppose that I should have been sitting up this straight my whole life! Oops!!

Yogi... the bear??

I have been studying and reading up on the best ways to strengthen my core and my back once I am done with physical therapy. I know that I will need to continue getting stronger and a strong core will help with back pain. Many articles and people have told me that yoga will be my cure all. I never thought that yoga would be something I would try. To me, it never seemed like it would be much of a workout or a calorie burner. But now I am looking to be strong and healthy and not a skinny mini! I am very excited to try something that, from what I understand, will be great for both mind and body.

That being said, I got to do a little shopping! I had to be prepared for my new adventure so I got a sassy yoga mat in my favorite color orange (that I am also using for physical therapy) and a Beginners Yoga DVD. I won't be able to start for a few more weeks but I am really looking forward to it.

I really love the tree branch design on my new mat!

Watch for Falling Decks!

This is my first attempt at "blogging" and I am a little nervous. I have decided that this will be my therapy because:

1. It is free!!
2. I am feeling a little post traumatic stress
3. I enjoy reading my friends' blogs

I guess I should start off with my story or my current situation. Right now I am on disability and unable to work. But, I am getting ahead of myself... it all started on June 26, 2009. It was a beautiful early Summer day. I was at a lake enjoying a fun day with coworkers and knew that I would be having even more fun later that day because it was my best friend's husband's birthday. What could go wrong on such a great day you ask? A collapsing deck, that's what. The birthday party was at my best friend's house and we were cooking out. Everyone was on the back deck of her home and then CRACK! it suddenly fell about 20 feet. I landed in the dirt and immediately knew that bones were not as they should be. I lifted (or tried to lift) my right leg and it was dangling in places that do not have joints. Not good. I also knew that something was wrong with my back and was worried because I could not feel all of my body parts.

The police/firemen/ambulance came and I was the first to be lifted out of the dirt. They put a neck brace on me and strapped me to a board and then onto a stretcher. Then it was off to a hospital with my best friend in the ambulance with me. She was next to me on the ground and also knew that something was amiss with her back. They told us they were taking us to a level 2 trauma center and that was further confirmation that things were not good. I am not sure if it was hysteria or what but I was cracking jokes all the way to the hospital. I was more worried with making my friend less upset then I was worried about myself. We arrived at the emergency room and things there are a bit of a blur. They were doing an ultrasound on me to make sure I had no internal injuries/bleeding and they set my right leg to try and sooth the swelling. Then I had to have a CT scan which was not as bad as I thought it would be. Once they set me up in my room, they told me that I was in the ICU... WHAT?! "Am I dieing??" was all I could mutter to the nurse! She assured me that I would be fine but that I was in critical condition. She told me that my right leg and ankle appeared to be broken in several places and that my back was also broken but they didn't know to what extent. I had an MRI the next day... worst time of my life! Never. Want. To. Do. That. Again. Then they confirmed that yes my back was broken and that it would require surgery. Then they whisked me off to have surgery on my ankle. They did that surgery first because every time they moved me, it would shake my leg and cause excruciating pain. Several days later I was able to have my back surgery. During that procedure, one of my lungs collapsed... I guess they were right, when it rains, it pours!

After 2 weeks in the hospital I was released. I came home and started a long process of rehabbing. I did physical therapy for a month and a half on my ankle. I have almost gained back all mobility. I had to wear a "turtle shell" brace to restrict movement in my back. I recently was able to stop wearing that and am now in physical therapy again to build up endurance, strength, and mobility. It has been almost 4 months since the accident and I have had my ups and downs. One would think instead of saying "Why me??" you would think "I am so lucky that I did not get more hurt!". Some days I think the latter and some days I think that it isn't fair that I was hurt more then anyone else on the deck and some people only got bruises (damn them!). But I do know one thing for sure, I will be a better person once I get through this!